Do You Know Your Asking Style?

By Brian Saber

"I Can Play Short…" Who can forget Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie?" Desperate to land a part—any part —he tries to convince the director that he can play anything—short, tall, young, old, male, female.

Well, acting a certain way to please an audience is great for the movies, but it's not great for fundraising. Donors can sense when you're being phony, when you're not being yourself but trying to be and say what you think they expect.

When you're authentic, you build your donor's trust—trust in you and through you to the organization. Trust is imperative to building the long-term relationships with donors that pay off for everyone. These are the long-term relationships which aren't about how much the next gift will be or when it will come, but about the donor as a partner in your organization who wants to make strategic investments to make an impact.

Asking Styles

Asking Styles
There is no such thing as the perfect or ideal fundraiser. You may have in mind some image of a fundraiser, but I can promise you that very few fundraisers fit that mold. Why? Very few of us got into the business because we wanted to raise money. Your story is probably similar to mine. I wanted to make a difference in the world, decided to go into the nonprofit sector, was asked to fundraise along the way, found I was good at it, and here I am 30 years later.

So, if most of us aren't the prototypical fundraiser, what does that mean? It means we need to embrace all the wonderful qualities each and every one of us brings to our work, and we need to play to our strengths. We need to fundraise in our own asking syle. Based on how one thinks and how one interacts with others, it classifies people as Rainmakers, Go-Getters, Kindred Spirits, and Mission Controllers.

  • The Rainmakers (extroverted analytics) are the prototypical fundraisers, the goal-oriented, strategic, and driven fundraisers who keep their eye on the prize.
  • Go-Getters (extroverted intuitives) are the big picture, high-energy, life-of-the-party types whose enthusiasm is contagious.
  • Kindred Spirits (introverted intuitives) are the sensitive, attentive, and caring fundraisers whose thoughtfulness brings donors closer.
  • Mission Controllers (introverted analytics) are the Eagle Scouts. They're detailed, methodical, and observant, so they're always prepared and thorough.

Fundraising in Your Own Style
At every step in the asking process, your style impacts how you do your work. It starts with prospect selection and carries through to how you prepare, how you contact the donor to set up the meeting, and how you act during the meeting.

For example, let's talk about the organization materials we gather for ourselves, board members, and other volunteers. In the old days, you might together a traditional solicitor package. It would include a fact sheet, an annual report, the budget, a recent newsletter, etc. Everyone got the same packet.

Understanding asking styles will let you have an "aha" moment and realize that all the intuitives on your board (Go-Getters and Kindred Spirits) will never read all the financial data; they will not read much at all. Instead, what you might need to do is share stories of your vision and how your participants were impacted. In fact, you might have to get your Kindred Spirits to come see programs in action, as that's what moved them and what they would share with others.

You might also realize that traditional packages do not provide the analytics (Rainmakers and Mission Controllers) with enough factual material! They want to know much more about goals and statistics (Rainmakers) and systems and plans (Mission Controllers). They will barely glance at the newsletter you give them.

By customizing the material to your solicitors, you will be able to get everyone much more engaged and knowledgeable, since now all had the right tools to feel comfortable and conversant talking about the organization.

Setting Yourself Up for Success
As a shy introvert (many Kindred Spirits are also shy), I always loathed picking up the phone to call a donor out of the blue to set up a meeting, even one I knew well. I was always frustrated by that and thought I should just get over it. Now I embrace who I am and what I need in order to be comfortable and successful.

What I now do is send a note first, sometimes by post, but more often by email. That heads up makes all the difference when I follow up with the call. It somehow puts me at ease knowing that my call won't feel out of the blue, that it will be expected, and that the conversation will flow better since we're both entering into it on the same page.

So it won't surprise you that I recommend all introverts—Kindred Spirits and Mission Controllers alike—start with a note. Rainmakers and Go-Getters are much more comfortable simply picking up the phone. For the Go-Getters, who tend to be in the moment and do things when the mood strikes them, this works particularly well. But for introverts, set yourself up for success by setting the stage with your donor first.

Asking Styles In Action
Soliciting in pairs is an incredibly effective strategy with most donors. At least 75% of all the major asks I've made have been with a co-solicitor. Pairing based on asking styles can be very effective, especially when pairing diagonally across the grid. Rainmakers and Kindred Spirits make ideal pairs, as do Go-Getters and Mission Controllers.

In each case, the team brings the full range of strengths to the table. The extrovert is wonderful at opening the meeting and engaging the donor, while the introvert talks less and spends that quiet time observing the meeting and strategizing about where to take it.

I'm running a capital campaign and partnering with the organization's president, a Go-Getter, on solicitation meetings. As the passionate, outgoing Go-Getter, my president's enthusiasm for the organization is contagious. His passion and dedication are very evident, and people respect him and believe in him. When he talks about the programs and the vision for the organization, you can see people responding on the spot.

As the introvert, I watch the meetings unfold and listen to the dialog as much as I participate. I jump in with key questions and transition the meeting from one stage to the next. This is particularly helpful when we're meeting with my president's fellow extroverts as they can get caught up in conversation and need a gentle nudge to get keep the meeting focused and moving ahead.

Interestingly, since we're both intuitives we play from the vision/participant stories/personal stories perspective, so our partnership lacks the strong analytic piece (though we are aware of that and try hard to present the facts!).

Everyone Can Be at the Table
The asking styles show everyone how they can be comfortable and effective fundraising. No longer do they say, "I can't fundraise. I'm terrible at it" because they no longer see it as something just a few people can do well. They come to embrace their personal strengths and believe that there isn't just one right way to fundraise. Fundraising is an art, and everyone can be an artist.

Here's to your fundraising success!

Brian Saber is a fundraising consultant, trainer, presenter, and author, and is President of Asking Matters, an online membership-based company that teaches staff and volunteers how to ask for money and motivates them to get out and ask. He can be reached at brian@askingmatters.com; 862-216-2880; or www.askingmatters.com.