By Gina Ryan, CAE
Laura Fredericks, Founder & CEO of THE ASK© and presenter at NYSAE’s Executive Women in Nonprofits SIG’s May program, is flanked by Holly Koenig (left), Vice President, Kellen Company, SIG Chair, and Linda Ferm, CAE, Ferm Strategies, and incoming SIG Chair.
What does every savvy association/nonprofit executive want? Great staff? More members? A raise? Some much needed time off? Laura Fredericks, who as Founder & CEO of THE ASK© teaches organizations how to confidently, willingly, and successfully ask for money, recently shared her wisdom with members of NYSAE’s Executive Women in Nonprofits SIG. Ingrid Montecino, CAE, President and CEO of the Arthritis Foundation Northeast Region hosted the breakfast meeting.
What do nonprofit executives want? An employment contract? Savvy officers? An effective board? Productive staff? Funds and grants to support programs? It is all how you ask that will get you everything you want, need, and deserve in your professional and personal life, according to Fredericks. The number one reason people do not give, however, is that they haven’t been asked.
Why are professionals afraid to ask? Part of the reality for development staff in the United States is that, on average, they will only be in a given job for 18 months. It is tough to promise potential donors that you will be their point person when you are likely headed for the revolving door. Among reasons for hesitating to ask include the fear of rejection and hearing "no."
Other reasons for fear include: the dreaded quid pro quo (you will be asked for money in return); the soured relationship if you ask friends, colleagues, or your boss for money; the awkward situation that results from asking your spouse or partner for something personal; or the person you want to ask gets asked all the time. Other dreaded scenarios are the presumption that the person you are asking does not have that kind of money; the uncertainty of how much to ask for and the specifics of what you want; the surprise response that will catch you off guard; and the fantasy that the person will eventually give you what you want without your having to ask for it.
"Asking should come as easily and as naturally as walking, smiling, and breathing," said Fredericks, "yet, the fear of asking is right up there with fear of heights, public speaking and spiders."
Asking is good for you: Fredericks maintains that asking is empowering. It can lead to money and success; it attracts like-minded people to you; and it creates personal momentum, enthusiasm and energy. Asking boosts self-confidence, invites positive outcomes, stops second-guessing, and turns the unexpected into leveraged opportunity. Most importantly, it weaves enjoyment into-tough-to discuss issues and enhances personal pride.
A good asker has specific characteristics: The most important characteristic of a good asker is to take the time to ask in person. Other traits are honesty and 100 percent belief in the ask, speaking with passion and compassion, supreme listening skills (where clues are unearthed), preparation of what to say and how to respond, and treating each ask as a special moment in time. It is understood that the asker is well-dressed and pays particular attention to body language, follows up after the ask even if the ask may lead to a "no," and thanks the person with positive energy regardless of the answer. Not following up will leave you feeling empty.
Three basic questions you must answer:
Before making the ask you must have the answers to these questions:
- What do you want? Be brief and specific.
- When do you want it? Know your deadline and duration.
- Who can give it to you? Identify the decision-maker.
The steps to take in making the best ask are:
- Know exactly what you want;
- Practice what you will say;
- Ask with confidence;
- Listen, then launch;
- Plan your next move.
Key factors surrounding an ask: Among the most important thing to know about any ask is that it is a conversation, not a confrontation. You must be aware of your own views about money before you ask others for it. Fredericks reminded attendees of the conventional wisdom surrounding the ask: A person of great wealth does not always give great wealth; a "no" now does not mean a "no" later; a "yes" can multiply if you show the person the value of his or her generosity; when asking for money, you are not taking something away, you are giving someone the opportunity to do good or feel fulfillment. On a personal note, asking for yourself is not asking for a favor; it is asking for what you believe you deserve.
Conversational pointers: Some of Fredericks other pointers include how you focus the conversation. When introducing yourself, give your organizational mission pitch, not your title. When you are speaking for an organization, use "we" instead of "I." This signals that you have the strength and backing of the entire enterprise. Always ask who else you should be speaking to in order to maximize your options. The more personal and sincere you are when making your ask, the better the chances are for getting a "yes." Every person you ask must be treated as an individual; avoid the generic ask.
Know the competition: Fredericks reminded the SIG participants that there are 1.4 million registered charities in the United States. "It is imperative to start your day by reading the Chronicle of Philanthropy," she urged. "And remember, knowledge is power, but asking is empowerment."
Her asking mantra: The quality of your life is determined by the quality questions you ask yourself and others.
Gina Ryan is President of CEO Pathways/Creative Executive Options, a firm offering interim executive director services and transition management to newly formed or recently challenged associations. Ryan is a former NYSAE board member and is the Vice Chair of the Awards Committee. She can be reached at ceopathways@mac.com or 917-971-7524.